Yes. My determined purpose is that I may know Him. However, have you ever stopped to think about the fact that HE, the eternal God of the universe, knows YOU? If you haven’t, do so for a minute, contemplate it. It’s STAGGERING to say the very least. It must be one of the hardest concepts for us to understand, as mere humans. Because the understanding of it will free you like nothing else that I know. I say that it is hard to understand because it took me nearly 20 years to wrap my head around it. Even after one of the most personal, intimate encounters with the living God, that I have ever experienced.
I was 21 years old in 1997. I had just begun my career as a long haul commercial truck driver. Traveling the open road, wind at my back, seeing the sights and having the time of my life. Or at least that’s how I thought it was supposed to be. The reality of the situation was this, it was a JOB. It requires time management skills, the ability to read a map, plan a trip, stick to said plan, knowledge of a myriad of regulations, statutes and rules to follow, and perhaps the most important skill of them all, the ability to sleep, anywhere, under any circumstance, at any time of day. Not to mention coping with the stress of maneuvering a 70 foot long vehicle through always unfamiliar terrain, without harming some unsuspecting family in a minivan that stops dead in front of you on the interstate. Fortunately for me (and them) I was good at the last one, and map reading, I was failing at everything else.
I was late constantly. Unless I was sleeping in the dock of the customer I was delivering to, it was a safe bet that I would oversleep. Whether it was not being able to sleep when I needed to or my 21 year old brain shutting down completely when blessed sleep finally overtook me, I don’t know, but it was quickly driving me down the highway to the unemployment line. On a night of particular importance, I cried out to God. I wasn’t serving Him, rather I was doing my own thing, without even bringing Him in to the decision making process. I was saved. Called and chosen from a teen age. Holy Spirit filled. And scared to death of my calling. In other words, I was on the run.
Mat 18:12 “What do you think? If a man has a hundred sheep, and one of them goes astray, does he not leave the ninety-nine and go to the mountains to seek the one that is straying? Mat 18:13 “And if he should find it, assuredly, I say to you, he rejoices more over that sheep than over the ninety-nine that did not go astray. Mat 18:14 “Even so it is not the will of your Father who is in heaven that one of these little ones should perish.
I prayed, “God I’m not doing to well at this. Tomorrow is a big day and I need to be up by 6am. Please Lord, I need this more than I have needed anything in a long time. Will you make sure that I am up? In Jesus’ name. Amen” God answers prayer. Even the little ones. ”
Mat 21:22 “And whatever things you ask in prayer, believing, you will receive.”
6a.m., the grind of the idling diesel engine in the wee hours of the morning was like a lullaby. I was sleeping as soundly as I had ever slept. I was on my way to another embarrassing morning of explaining my tardiness to my dispatcher, like an irresponsible teenager facing down my 1st period English teacher, when I heard a voice. A still small voice. Quiet and soft like the sound of snuggling up under a blanket at the fireside, yet at the same time, huge, filling the empty caverns of my mind like the most resonant bell, without producing the slightest twinge of fear. One word, “David”. (my middle name) I was instantly awake. More awake than I had ever been. The God of the universe, The God of all creation, spoke MY name! He spoke life back in to me! I felt all at once grossly unworthy and ashamed, and at the same time, like a jewel of unimaginable worth, the Father’s prize possession. It was amazing! Not a single drop of drowsiness or fatigue left in my body. Even more amazing to me, I was on time.
God answered that prayer simply because He loves me. No ulterior motive. That moment, as intimate and awe inspiring as it was, was not even my “come to Jesus moment”. That moment was still a decade away, and a moment for another tale I think. This incredible moment gave me some insight into the love that God has for us. The love that knows you more deeply than you know yourself and chooses to love you, in spite of who you are. He cares about the things you care about, even if they are silly and of no real consequence. More than anything, it served to show me that God wants a real relationship with me. One where we talk to each other, share our thoughts with one another, and come to knowledge and understanding through our closeness with Him.
He knows you, Jer 1:5; “Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee, and I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations.“, He has drawn you unto Himself, now he stands at the door of your heart knocking, not insistently, but persistently. Let Him in. Take that first step on the long road home. The prize is worth the fight.
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